Words
The other day our boys were playing in our backyard when Theo came running in shouting, “Dad, Cooper called me a bad name!” At first, I was shocked; however, I also knew Cooper, who is much smaller than his brother, often resorts to words when he can’t get his way. So, I called Cooper in for questioning and to verify the story. “Cooper, Theo said that you called him a bad name; is that true?” I asked curiously. He explained that Theo was not listening to him and that he did call him a name. So, I thought the worst; what heinous word had weaseled its way into my angel’s vocabulary; I asked him what he called his brother. He said he called his brother a “kayich.” Stifling a chuckle as I heard this made-up word, I solicited him for the meaning of this word. He informed me that it meant “mountain.” For a 3-year-old, that is pretty deep, as he reasoned his brother was being as stubborn and immovable as a mountain. Although neither of these terms would fall onto a scale of troublesome expressions, I decided to use this situation to teach about the power of words.
I said, “Cooper do you think that is a nice thing to say to your brother?” He informed me that it was not a nice word to use on his brother. I asked, “Were you trying to hurt your brother with that word?” He confirmed my suspicions. So, I was able to share with him that we use our words to make people feel better and not to hurt their feelings.
I used to give this advice to teenagers all the time: In this world, the only thing we truly possess is our thoughts, and words are the direct expressions of our thoughts. Therefore, the words that come from our mouths reflect our thoughts and represent who we are deep inside. This wisdom does not come from me. This wisdom has been revealed to us by Jesus, and it is a good reminder for us.
Matthew 5:21-22 – “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT MURDER,’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be answerable to the court.’ 22 “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty [enough to go] into the fiery hell.”
Matthew 15:18-20 – “But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those things defile the person. 19 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, [acts of] adultery, [other] immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, [and] slanderous statements. 20 “These are the things that defile the person; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the person.”
It is our mouths that reveal our hearts. Our words have immense power. It is easy to imagine that we are “good” because we have never murdered anyone. However, in light of these passages, we can see a connection between our words and heart. Our innermost thoughts can be corrupt and are typically displayed in our words. It doesn’t take long to discover how a person thinks once we hear their vocabulary. James, the half-brother of Jesus, puts it this way.
James 3:8-10 – “But no one [among] mankind can tame the tongue; [it is] a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless [our] Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.”
How can we say we love each other and then curse each other with our words? By using words that diminish and dehumanize each other, we are insulting the image of the God who made us. Hopefully, I can convey this concept to my children at a young age and allow them to see that the words we use are powerful, not only because they can hurt someone else’s feelings but also because it damages the way we think about them. If we can’t love others with our thoughts and words, it will be impossible to love them in any other way.
**I also talked with the older brother about being flexible and not being stubborn like a “mountain” while he is playing with his brother. **